Six in the Morning

1. HERE COME THE CUTS: Harper is warning the big spending party is over and we can expect five frugal years as the Conservatives pull us out of a deficit that Harper's scandal plagued Conservatives got us into. No tax cuts are planned for the next budget so I'm wondering how're the Cons going to get themselves elected because they sure can't run on their fiscal management. Or their environmental record. And they aren't looking great on how they're handling Afghanistan. Oh, but Stephen will play us all a song on the piano and all will be forgiven. He's so dreamy when he tickles the ivories. (Globe and Mail)

2. IRAN CRACKS DOWN ON PROTESTS AGAIN: The funeral for Iran's most important dissident cleric erupted in violence as pro-reform protesters were beaten and teargassed by police. (Globe and Mail)

3. PEOPLE ARE SHOPPING, ALL IS WELL: Car and housing sales are up, GDP is growing. Depression cancelled. Capitalism works. As you were. (Globe and Mail)

4. QC PREMIER SLAMS HARPER'S ENVIRONMENT STANCE, CANADA COULDN'T CARE LESS: The CBC reports Jean Charest is tearing a strip off Harper and his scandal plagued Conservatives over their miserable and suicidal stance on the environment (which is, in short: do as little as possible). Meanwhile, the Edmonton Journal reports that the scandal plagued Conservatives climate change position isn't hurting them in the polls one whit. Yeah, way to give a shit about the planet, Canada. You deserve that Fossil of the Year award.

5. CONSERVATIVES FIND WORK INCONVENIENT: Harper's scandal plagued Conservatives are avoiding one of the many scandals with which their party is plagued -- specifically, the Afghan detainee mess -- by just not attending the hearings. They're saying tis not the season for negativity. (Globe and Mail)

6. SO MUCH NOISE: Balloon boy balloon boy balloon boy fuck fuck fuck don't care shut up Tiger Woods go away fuck shhhhhhh-h-h-h enough it's enough already okay now stop.