Any Leaf Fans Out There?

Pretty funny article in The Toronto Star on the sorry state of the Toronto Maple Leafs--and, less directly, on head coach Ron Wilson's big mouth and propensity for insulting his players. Wilson apparently told reporters the team was "a garden full of weeds" after losing badly to Minnesota. The Star goes into more detail about these weeds. A sample:

"MILKWEED (Nikolaiva Antropovora): Not an invasive species and does not pose threat to its environment. Physically tepid despite long frame, may finally be yanked from first and only NHL team for frustrating inability to dominate."

Good for a chuckle. Full thingy here.

Six In The Morning

1. Don't Let America become France: So you're a captain of industry and you've just been promised a big wad of corporate welfare, what's your first order of business? Why, fund an assault on the union movement of course. As reported on Tuesday in the Huffington Post, Bernie Marcus, co founder of Home Depot, participated in a Bank of America hosted conference call with several conservative activists in which he characterized the Employee Free Choice Act as "the demise of civilization" and urged massive donations to the fight against the bill. As of today, you can listen to the entire conversation via Wikileaks.

2. Downsize that Venti Decaf Misto: Starbucks is laying off 6,700 employees and closing 300 stores. Now, if we can just find some way to get the Broad Street Crossing and its Tim Hortons bulldozed.

3. Council Urged to Consider Extending Shovelling Bylaw: Monday's Regina city council meeting wasn't all condo conversions -- oh no, that was just the first three and a half hours -- there were also presentations by community groups and Canada Post criticizing the state of city sidewalks in winter. They urged council to extend the shovelling bylaw to cover residential property. Nothing seems forthcoming as long as city staff are in the process of doing some sort of new snow removal survey. Maybe next year those of us who number among the carless can expect to see some relief from Regina's pedestrian moonscape.

4. Regina the Not-So Cheap: Regina has dropped from the most affordable place in Canada to the 18th. Cape Breton has claimed the top spot.

5. Obama Throws Down Weather Gauntlet: Worried that coverage of American politics will become as slight as TMZ? Worry no more. The Globe and Mail bravely blazes a trail deep(er) into tabloid trivia land by making Obama's coatless winter jaunt a top news item.

6. Wanking Causes Cancer: File this under "Things I Wish I Didn't Know." Apparently, men who have too many orgasms in their 20s and 30s are at a higher risk for prostate cancer. And yes, that means orgasms by any means are a problem. But they're saying that orgasms achieved by "spanking the monkey" (or do you prefer "choking the bishop"? Or something else maybe?) are especially deadly. Well, that's it. I'm doomed.