Stolen? Or Escaped?

A Regina woman's gingerbread men are missing. (Leader-Post)


I don't "do" Saturday mornings and I'm even iffy on afternoons but there's too much report to take the day COMPLETELY off, so here's your evening news links. All bad news, all things you need to know. Sorry about this. Better put a helmet on before you read further.

1 COPENHAGEN RUINED! RUINED! Global political leadership and capitalism fail utterly to sign a meaningful, binding deal to save our future civilization. What came out of Copenhagen is practically useless. It's the failingest failure that ever failed and I hate it and it sucks and we're all fucked. Epic. Fail. (Guardian, NPR, BBC, Guardian again, Globe And Mail (cartoon), Grist, CBC, Desmogblog, Green Party Of Canada/Elizabeth May, and one more from the Guardian--poor George Monbiot, who just calls it like it is.)

Thanks to sitting on our asses and sticking our heads in the ground (we're flexible!), and listening to lunatics like Sarah Palin, Lord Viscount Christopher Monckton Of Bugeye-Pompington, and Ian Plimer, the denial dude Rex Murphy has the contrarian crush on, our children's world is almost certainly going to be much, much worse than yours was. (How Stuff Works).

We can bail out banks. We can invade countries that never attacked us. We can't agree to save the climate. IF anyone's left to write a history of our species in a hundred years this disaster will be one of the biggest jokes going.

(steam blowing out ears)

The public has been misinformed and nakedly lied to, which works because we're all mostly decent people who aren't experts who tend to expect the best in others and when there's two groups arguing about something complicated, we assume they both have reasonable points. That's how the liars trick us into being polite when we should be freaking the fuck out en mass (and on their lying asses). Like prairie dog printed last edition: the climate liars fucked our future. Liars? We probably should've called them terrorists. Because they are. Madmen and terrorists and climate war criminals, defending indefensible economic interests.

(Top of head blows off like a raccoon in a geyser)

BUT: I refuse--refuse!--to believe that our species is incapable of acting in its collective interest of self-preservation. Unlikely to do so, yes. Sadly. Incapable? Absolutely not. I'll probably be alive for another 30-40 years and I'm really interested to see how this turns out. Maybe people will wake up, hold their leaders to account, organize, demonstrate, etc? Stranger things have happened.

Oh and Rex Myurphy? You're an awful man. (Globe And Mail)


2 AUSCHWITZ SIGN THEFT Holy motherfuckers, Batman. Maddest I've been about vandalism in, well, maybe ever. (CBC/Canadian Press)

3 AN AMERICAN COUP In a new book, the FBI is accused of abusing their power in a bid to jail Bill Clinton after Monicagate--by the former president's secret service guards. (New York Times) How come no one "abuses their power" to go after war criminals like George W. Bush and Dick Cheney? Oh, right. Fascism. I forgot. American fascism says blowjobs are an unforgiveable sin but it's okay to bomb countries under false pretences, spy on your own population, blow the cover of your own country's secret agents for political payback against whistleblowers, torture your enemies, shepard huge contracts to your business buds, cut taxes to the super wealthy while ordinary people laguish in poverty, deregulate everything until your country goes bankrupt, blah blah etc. blah. Fascism is fun!

4 IRAN ADMITS ELECTION PROTESTORS BEATEN TO DEATH IN PRISON The election-stealing country's judiciary says that's the facts Jack. Oopsie doodles! (MSNBC)

5 LAME, WATERED DOWN HEALTH CARE BILL HAS THE VOTES TO PASS, WELL, AT THE MOMENT ANYWAY So yippee for America, or something, I guess. Too bad about women who want to have abortions, but, whatever. Lots of American women don't really seem to care about their rights much anyway. (Washington Post)

6 POLL DANCING IGGY WANTS ANOTHER YEAR OF STEPHEN HARPER? A federal election in 2010? Nope, nope, nope, says Ignatieff. (Ottawa Citizen)

12 Days of Christmas: Trading Places

There's a scene in this movie where Dan Aykroyd, brought low in a social experiment of nature versus nurture, sits on a bus in a Santa Claus suit. He's drunk and foul looking and he had just failed to frame Eddie Murphy at a company Christmas party of his former employers in an attempt try to reclaim his previous life. At the party he had "procured" some food and booze. Now sitting on a bus he pulls a smoked salmon out of his coat and tries to eat it through his Santa Claus beard getting hair stuck in his mouth. It is one of the funniest and nastiest bits I have ever seen. Sure there's sicker gags out there on film but that beard is just a nasty, filthy looking beard and I'm not sure I'd wear it much less let it get stuck on food that I was trying to eat.

The film is one John Landis' last of his really funny comedies that he made. After this he made several mediocre comedies like Spies Like Us and Coming to America and more than a few done right disasters - Innocent Blood, Beverly Hills Cop III and The Stupids.

This is one of those rare comedies that has some insightful social commentary. It also has an ending that apparently makes perfect sense if you're a commodities broker. I've tried to follow it several times and I think I understand what's going on. Fortunately there are folks out that look into this sort of thing and have actually explained what happens.

Saturday Morning Cartoon

With James Cameron's latest movie Avatar blowing away moviegoers at theatres with it's amazing 3D CGI and it's eco-friendly message - it occurred to me that there is another hero who communed with the jungles of Earth, bonded with the animals and had a respect all living things in the forest - unless something was trying to eat him, then it was a free for all.

Edgar Rice Burroughs' Tarzan.

And back in the 1970's Filmation studios had brought Tarzan to life for 36 episodes in Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle. This was also one of the more faithful adaptations of Tarzan, like the original novels he is intelligent and well spoken. The show often explored many of the lost cities that the novels featured unlike the movie that had him grunting and running around New York city for laughs.

Pick of the Day: Peppermint Glitz

Fresh off their performance of A Spoon We Are Not at the Globe Theatre in October (pictured), Misty Wensel, Fran Gilboy and Heather Cameron of FadaDance host their annual Christmas party at the Exchange tonight. Featured will be performances by several troupes who take classes at FadaDance's east-central Regina studio. Not sure if the FadaMen are still active, but if they are, they'll likely bust a move or two. The fun gets going around 9:30 p.m., and traditionally goes late, so bring your dancing shoes and have a good time.

If you feel like exercising your funny bone instead, a group of local comics will be performing at the Club tonight. That should kick-off around 8 p.m. And if you do happen to drop by, make sure you check out the exhibition P.A. Lowbrow a.k.a. Three Motherf****** from P.A. that's on display there until Jan. 8. It features work in a decidedly raunchy vein by Michel Boutin, Harley Kowalsky and John MacDonald.

And OYE! with Def 3 spinning pre and post-show tunes is at the Distrikt. $7 at the door.