12.15.2009

God Calls in One of His Servants, Sends Him 'Down There'


Oral Roberts, one of the first of that particular breed of American holy roller/sociopaths to harness the power of television to share the word of God -- and make shitloads of money -- has died at 91. (New York Times)
In the eighties, Roberts claimed that if he couldn't raise $8 million, "God would call him home." God called in that debt on Tuesday. We -- okay, I -- didn't think God was serious about it, but I guess you just never know people. Deities. Whatever. I can only imagine the kneecapping/waterboarding/nipple twisting poor Oral got for not coughing the money up sooner.

By the way, I got this photo off of a blog called Pandagon, who used the picture of the statue in front of the Oral Roberts University (presumably of Roberts' own greasy, begging hands) to illustrate an article about the university. Pandagon claims the school is a veritable hotbead of greed, sexual abuse and other terribly sleazy things. I am shocked. Shocked.

2 comments:

observer said...

such a funny name

Stephen Whitworth said...

His full name according to his New York Times obituary was Granville Oral Roberts. Oral was just his middle name.