I don't watch TV. My television is for Sega tapes ONLY.

When I visit my parents, the TV is on constantly, and I'm reminded why I don't watch TV in the first place.

Now, I know I'm not the first person to realize that advertisements are annoying. And I'm definitely not the first one to realize that SaskTel advertisements are annoying.

... But, holy crap, SaskTel commercials are annoying.

Like, astonishingly annoying. Stupefyingly annoying. Wonder-if-I'm-in-some-kind-of-horrible-purgatory annoying. The Little Red Riding Hood Campaign is worse than anything they've ever done.

So I took the mature route. Here is a mean drawing of Sasktel's confusing mascot, Little Red Riding Hood.

And here's a list of what's wrong with this campaign. Feel free to add your own in the comments:

- Fairy tales have very little to do with Saskatchewan.
- Fairy tales have nothing to do with telephones.
- Why does Little Red have a goldfish?
- Why is the Goldfish named Gainer? (OK, dumb question. But why didn't they just give her a pet rodent?)
- Why do you hear an "boi-oi-oi-oi-oing" sound effect when Gainer sees Marilyn Minnow on TV? I saw a video about fisheries once, and that's not how they do it.
- Marilyn Minnow is a terrible pun.
- Little Red has tiny corn teeth.
- Fuck Jack and his beanstalks.
- Shrek movies are mostly a waste of time.
- How is it that people like these ads so much that they keep making them?
- How is it that people keep going to see Shrek movies?
- When did the world go so horribly, horribly wrong?

Forget concerns over insane government, poor city planning, and short-sighted environmental policies ... this is the worst part about living in Saskatchewan. At least Bell Canada's dumb CG Beavers are half-voiced by Norm MacDonald.

(Oh, and this isn't a private vs. crown thing ... I would hate these ads no matter what the circumstances.)


Tyler said...

The problem here is that you don't watch enough TV. If you did, you'd see that there are far more annoying commercials, to the point that these don't even register, even in the telecom genre. The Rogers' "Slides in, slides out" one, for example.

Anonymous said...

Rogers "slides in slides out" is definatly not as bad as the horrible sasktel commercials.. The high pitched voice of that little red riding hood chick makes me want to strangle the closest thing to me... And the "boi-oi-oi-oi-oing" sound indeed pisses me off... since when is "fish boners" related to fairy tales... and yes a shrek rip off 100%.. I recall seeing that ad for the first time and thinking "what the fuck another one".. My hat goes off to whom ever made that awesome illustration!

Dakota said...

I've seen my share of Roger's commercials and there's no doubt that they are annoying ... but at least they usually make some semblance of sense.

The SaskTel fairy tale campaign is such a insane combination of bad taste, bad design, and bad attempts at pandering.

Almost all advertisements achieve some degree of proficient crumminess ... but comparing SaskTel ads to anything else is like comparing the black plague to a hearty sneeze.

Anonymous said...

haha great post Dakota!! and BTW Sega Tapes <3

Stephen Whitworth said...

@Anonymous: Dakota drew the illustration. He's one of our top drawers. Strictly top drawer, in fact.

The Joel said...

I also hate watching TV, because of commercials. I hate that one with the Big Bad Wolf more than ANYTHING though!

Anonymous said...

Wow, dude. How much do you hate life that this bothers you? Even if the commercials are annoying, why is that a catalyst for you being a whiny bitch and complaining about them? What does a fairy tale have to do with Sasktel? Nothing. What does a fucking jumping goat have to do with Telus. Dick all. Get over it.

Dakota said...

Evidently 'Anonymous' either works for SaskTel, or is unfamiliar with humour, sarcasm, and hyperbole.

Possibly both.