Yet More Monkey Business

Shades of Howard Cosell.

More Monkey Business

Fine, but one day a captive chimp named Caesar will come along who will throw off the shackles of slavery and oppression imposed on him and his brethren by human society and outwit the trigger-happy cops who respond by trying to kill him, and then all hell will break loose. It is foretold.

Further to Steve's Post About the Monkey

So let me get this straight. Someone takes a chimpanzee out of its natural wild African habitat and trains it to semi-function in upper middle class North American society. "Travis" behaves remarkably well, learning to dress and bathe himself and use a computer, but has one unfortunate lapse when he viciously attacks a 55-year-old woman who was probably mildly over-bearing anyway, and what do we do? Shoot him. Great.

Re: Feast

Allow me Steve.

Alas I Have No Camera HandyTo Document The Sheer Awesomeness Of This Feast

Just got home after taking three hours to figure out how to write a complicated e-mail that people needed me to send out last week and not surprisingly, was starving. But whatzuh to eatz? Editor don't rememberz how to cook.

What was needed here was simplicity and improvisation.

So I fired up the rice machine and got some premium organic basmati going. Then, I chopped up two fat onions which I fried to slimey, carmamelized perfection in a quantity of olive oil far exceeding two tablespoons. I added some habanero sauce, a mountain of salt, two cloves of garlic (minced) and a can of garbonzo beans, then simmered the amazing mixture to glistening, gooey spectacularness before adding some awesome broccoli (to defray some of the inevitable cardiac damage). Needed a secret weapon though, and aha! A splash of lemon juice and about three pounds of fresh ground black pepper (recently discovered scientific "fact": not possible to over-pepper beans).

Served on the now-ready rice, eating...Mmmmmmf, ghub.Vry vry ghub.

Mmmmmfmmfff!

In other news, California is really, truly, totally fucked. Turns out you can't cut taxes relentlessly and make it next-to-impossible to raise them in an emergency, then expect to breeze through a cataclysmic economic meltdown. Layoffs, program cancellations and copious suffering to doubtless follow.

Yep, far-right conservative small-government delusions just don't work. They break economies and ruin lives. Kinda like communist delusions used to do back in the Cold War era, ironically. Funny how extremism, intransigence and bullheaded devotion to ideological fairy tales always seems to cause trouble.

But maybe after electing a break-the-mold president Americans are, finally, ready for change? For centrist ideologies and policies based on reason, realism, co-operation and sustainibility?

Nah.

(First link to the New York Times, second to Fox.)

This Week at City Hall

Because City Hall is worth paying attention to...

Tues, Feb 17:
Works and Utilities Committee Meeting (4 pm): Considering the "Bad Apples Campaign" to reduce improper use of recycling programs, an expanded water conservation program, and an increase in the levies for properties with back alleys.
Development Appeals Board Hearing (5:30 pm)

Wed, Feb 18:
Executive Committee Meeting (11:45 am)
Parks and Community Services Committee (4 pm): The Regina Citizens' Public Transit Coalition is presenting a petition of over 7,000 names urging the city to expand transit service on Sundays and holidays. The more people who show up at this committee meeting the better.

Thur, Feb 19:
Board of Police Commissioners (2 pm): Considering the review of monthly crime stats for January '09. Crimes against people up 15% over Jan of '08. Crimes against property down 27%.

Anybody can attend these meetings. You can even make presentations at them. To view detailed agendas for these meetings and to download the reports, go here.

Six In The Morning

Special post-Family Day edition!

1 COUNTDOWN TO BARRACK U.S. President Obama will be in Ottawa Thursday--but how will this populist, eco-saavy urban Democrat get along with our glorious leader, an anti-environment, anti-labour, anti-culture, made-in-Alberta corporate stooge? (Toronto Star)

2 APESHIT A pet chimpanzee goes berserk, mangles an elderly woman and corners cops, who quite reasonably shoot its vicious, face-eating, monky-ass dead. (New York Times)

3 MANITOBA MENACE The U.S. deploys unammed surveillance drones to monitor the Canadian border, detering both al Quada and over-enthusiastic duty-free booze buyers. (Winnipeg Free Press)

4 NOT IN MY BACKYARD (AND/OR PRISON SYSTEM) Sneaky state politicians attempt to disrupt Obama's orders to shut down U.S. torture prison Gitmo. (The Guardian)

5 SCIENCE JES' AIN'T IMPORTINT While much of the world re-invests in intellectual capital one frustrated, underfunded Canadian researcher who just wants to help the children says he's getting better offers from Singapore. (Globe And Mail)

6 WE'LL ALWAYS HAVE WAL-MART The recession-resistent retailer posts a quarterly profit that exceeds expectations. (New York Times)

Blogger Fighting Harper Spam

Abandoned Stuff blogger, Saskboy, was on CBC Radio this morning talking to Sheila Coles about how he and the other residents of Ralph Goodale's riding are being spammed with junkmail from the Conservatives. Apparently, even though MPs are only supposed to be using their postal privileges to send mail to their constituents, Harper has been mailing residents in swing ridings that went to other parties. A misuse of his position? Or simply an exploitation of a loophole, one that any governing party would take? I don't care. It's yet another example of sleazy, underhanded politics from out the Calgary School.

Here's Saskboy's post detailing the scam. Hat's off to him for fighting the fight.

Shape of Things to Come?

Following their early-February collision in the depths of the Atlantic Ocean, the British and French commanders [pictured at left] of the nuclear-armed submarines involved met with media for the first time the other day at NATO headquarters in Brussels to discuss the circumstances of the accident which caused moderate damage to both ships. During their press conference, the commanders dismissed the mishap, which could have had catastrophic consequences, as a high-stakes game of chicken that went a little too far. Reports have since surfaced, however, that both vessels were equipped with sophisticated stealth technology and that they were quite possibly unaware of each other's presence in that sector of the north Atlantic. I'll post more details on this story as they become available.

Laotian Food Rocks

Went to my second Regina Laotian Community Buffet and Dance. It was put on by the Laotian Youth Society at the downtown Legion. The food was great!

Regina needs a Laotian restaurant. If it has one and I've missed it, let me know. I ate at this hole-in-the-wall Laotian restaurant in Edmonton once. If you've had Vietnamese or Thai food, then the territory will be pretty familiar to you. But then, there are a few dishes that're really strange and surprising. So, a message to Regina's Laotian community: Regina needs more Laotian food. If you cook it, I will come.

Anyway, the community will next be hosting a Laotian New Year party on April 9. I'm hoping to attend just to find out what calendar Laos uses. Did you know Regina has an inordinately large Laotian community? That's what I hear, anyway. I don't know if it's precisely true but I'm happiest believing it is and will therefore continue to disseminate that information as though it were fact.

Also, for this year's Mosaic, the Laotians and the Irish will be sharing a building. Laap on one side. Guinness on the other. Excellent. Plus, I hear that every year the Laotian community gets in a supply of Beerlao for Mosaic. My wife (who's been to Laos) swears Beerlao is great. I have my doubts but hope to have them dispelled. Repeatedly.