A nice little urinating match …

In the insular world of Regina's media, there's seldom is heard a discouraging word, mostly because your competitor could soon be your employer. That's why John Gormley's (CJME) latest freak-out – this time, over Carm Carteri, the color analyst for Saskatchewan Roughrider radio broadcasters on a competing radio station (CKRM)--is surprising. Rod Pedersen has the transcripts of Gormley's rant here (pedersenmedia.com).

First things first. If you've ever listened to other radio stations' CFL broadcasts, you realize two things. RM's play-by-play guy, Rod Pedersen, is one of the best in the business, both for football and hockey (rumour has it that he was short-listed for the Phoenix Coyotes' radio gig but wasn't willing to relocate, as his children were just starting school). And Carmello Carteri is the broadcast's weak link – especially if you listened to Pistol Pete Martin's running game commentary for Toronto Argonaut games (Fan590.com) or Giulio Caravatta on BC Lions broadcasts (Team 1040).

Tony Proudfoot, doing the Alouettes' English-language broadcasts, was unquestionably the best of the bunch [CJAD], and Ron Lancaster did a pretty good job with the Hamilton Tiger Cats (CHML) but Proudfoot, sadly, is in the middle stages of ALS (Montreal Gazette), and Lancaster, well, thanks for the memories (CBC Sports).

Even worse, Carteri doesn't seem to do a lot in the off-season to improve his communication skills or keep up with what's going on in the rest of the league. A good radio producer would have kicked Carm's hind end over this by now.

Apart from groaning like a stud bull witnessing the latest Jenna Jameson best-of release every time the Riders did something wrong, one of the biggest knocks Rider fans have against Carteri is that he never has that much to say that's positive about the Roughriders' play. Often, it's not his fault; the Riders aren't known for playing mistake-free football and fans are guaranteed at least two or three blown calls by the officials every game. Because the Riders pleaded with fans for support for many years – making themselves susceptible to the blackmail crowd ("you must/must not cut or trade player XX or we won't buy tickets" or something along those lines) – Rider fans feel they have more control over the team's operations than, say, Dallas Cowboys or Toronto Blue Jays fans. Rider fans feel they can influence the coaching staff and/or front office by the mere threat of an economic boycott.

There's also another reason why some Rider fans suspect Carteri seems more critical than usual regarding the Riders. Think back to 1999, when the Roughriders were 3-15, talentless, poorly coached, with the worst scouting staff west of the Mississippi/Lakehead since General Custer and the Seventh Cavalry left North Dakota. General manager and de factor master of the Riders' domain, Al Ford, announced his resignation (was it just before the board announced his firing? The club was $4 million in the hole, ticket sales for the Friends of the Riders lottery had virtually stopped, and the first words out of Tom Shepherd's mouth the day of Ford's 'I quit' press conference, after a horrible Thanksgiving Day loss to Montreal, was that anyone boycotting the Riders' lottery because they wanted rid of Ford had better open their wallets now. Makes you think …)

Despite what Rod Pedersen says in his otherwise good book about the 2007 Riders (The Rider Store), Riderland in 1999 was a place where the CFL's angels feared to tread (then again, Pedersen's book is the club's official release, and I would doubt the Riders would want their fans to be reminded of the time when the club was the armpit of the league). At the time the general manager's duties involved marketing, administration, scouting, player signings, hiring coaches, and being the overall overseer.(Today, what were once Ford's duties are split up amongst four people – president Jim Hopson, GM Eric Tillman, marketing VP Steve Mazurak – who ran for the Liberals in Regina West in 1984 while I ran for the Parti Rhinoceros, both of us going down to ignominious defeat to the NDP's Les Benjamin) and someone else – can't think of who, offhand – who runs the administration side).

The Riders' Plan A was to offer a contract to Ron Lancaster, then head coach and GM of the TiCats, who were playing in Regina the next week. At the time, Lancaster was still under contract with the TiCats to the end of the season, and would sign an extension with them in the off-season, and he didn't need the distraction of somebody else's problems being forced onto him (how the Riders didn't get slapped around by the CFL home office for tampering with someone under contract (Exhibit A in the proof that the CFL isn't entirely out to get the Riders). What was plan B? CKRM's Willie Cole mentioned it during the post-game show in 1999 after the Riders were skinned alive by the TiCats.

Carmello Carteri.

Would Cole have mentioned it if he thought he'd get into trouble not only with the Riders' flagship radio station but also the guy who owns the station – who also was and is a major behind-the-scenes guy on the Rider board of directors, Paul Hill?

Fortunately, saner heads prevailed. Though Carteri was/is a somewhat successful businessman in Regina (owned a few properties, including the Regina Court & Fitness Club, now the Gold Gym south), and played linebacker for a couple of years for the Riders and Hamilton, he had nowhere near the business experience in football management, nor the contacts to provide a good scouting staff or coaching staff to an established club, let alone one that was in more trouble than one of Mike Holmes' projects on Holmes on Homes. It would have been interesting in a Soviet moon shot-rocket blowing up on the launch pad way (YouTube), but after the 2000 season, you wouldn't have had to worry about the 01 season.

So, the Rider search committee went around, getting rejected like Potsie Weber looking for a date. Ron Smeltzer said no. So did Tom Higgins. And so did Eric Tillman.

In Pedersen's book, Tillman says he was just starting a relationship with the woman who's now his wife, and didn't want to leave Toronto at the time. Personally, I considered that to be 'Tillspin,' of which the Ole Miss journalism school graduate, class of 1978, is particularly adept. At the 06 presser at the Hotel Sask announcing his signing as GM, I asked why he didn't consider taking the GM job in 1999. He mentioned the relationship and the state he was in, and I said, "But under Jim Hopson, the management structure has changed. The Rider GM can just concentrate on football now, not like it was in 1999." "Yes, the structure has changed," Tillman drawled, and then quickly changed the subject.

So the Riders hired Roy Shivers, the first black GM in the CFL's history, because nobody else wanted the job at the time. And overall, Shivers didn't do that bad a job in stocking the Riders with talent, though he grew increasingly erratic after the 2005 season.

So, the Carmello-haters say, there's a reason why he's always down on the Riders.

So what does this have to do with the man whose life ambition is to become Saskatchewan's answer to Rush Limbaugh? Gormley's not going ballistic. In 2006 Gormley held down two gigs with Rawlco Radio (their home page) – the morning gabfest host and the station's legal counsel. So if he's going to slime somebody, who would the radio station call if they get sued for defamation of character? You got it. Only an idiot owning a radio station would allow the station's chief legal counsel to grab a microphone and start slagging others in a (possibly) defamatory way

Rawlco's relationship with the Roughriders is akin to the relationship I had with Hollis Richter in the second grade at Tyvan School. She was the prettiest, smartest, and most popular girl in our class, and I wanted her to like me, so I acted like a jerk towards her. Rawlco's the same way towards the Riders. Their sports show is hosted by Drew Remenda ("Okay, caller, I don't want to talk about the San Jose Sharks! I want to hear you talk about the San Jose Sharks!"), whose sole contribution to the Saskatchewan sports scene is that he exhales carbon dioxide, which plants need to grow (CJME). About eight months ago Gormley pulled a story out of his broad butt said a group of prominent Saskatoon businessmen were going to seek funds to build a 35,000 seat football stadium in Saskatoon (since Rawlco is based in Saskatoon, guess who would benefit the most? And get the radio rights?).

But for a news/talk radio station, they do a poor job of covering things – especially out of their comfort zone of issues pre-approved by The Conservative Party of Canada/The Fraser Institute. There's a school of thought that neo-conservatives are suffering from some kind of psychological persecution complex that causes them to pick fights with everyone, real and imagined, and to invent crises when no such crisis exists. The 'birthers' movement in the United States, the Conservatives' approach to the arts movement, gay and lesbian issues and Quebec voters, and Rush Limbaugh's career are examples of this. And eventually, as we're seeing in the Republican Party south of the border, they're descending into fratricide. Carm must be wondering, "Who urinated in this guy's Corn Flakes this morning?"

That's one of the strange things about the neo-conservative movement. They never seem to run out of people to hate.