Six In The Morning

Special March edition, with extra sarcasm!

1 CUT OFF First Nations University of Canada, which abbreviates its name as FNUniv in violation of internationally agreed-upon acronym conventions, has had its funding suspended by the provincial government until they restructure their board of directors to something resembling what an FSIN report asked for three years ago. (The Star Phoenix)

2 THE "R" WORD Here's a surprise--Canada's economy shrunk 3.4 per cent in the last quarter of 2008. (CBC)

3 NOT GOING TO HAPPEN Canada's prime minister says the Taliban can't be defeated. But, um, if Obama asks us to stay beyond our withdrawal deadline, we'll, ah, listen to his request. (Globe And Mail)

4 KEEP THEM LEGAL Canada's safety minister says use of electric torture-murder devices, that is, tasers, shouldn't be suspended just because sometimes someone gets killed (and not by tasers but from "excited delerium, whatever made-up thing that is). (National Post)

5 YOU CAN'T DO IT LIKE THAT The International Criminal Court is trying to figure out if it can investigate Israel for war crimes in the late 2008-early 2009 attack on Gaza. Meawhile, the Red Cross is compiling unflattering reports on both Israel and Hamas. Oh--and Israel's prime minister might be charged for accepting envelopes stuffed with cash. Busy busy! (The Guardian)

6 FUN WITH SOLDIERS Looks like there's been a military coup in Guinea Bissau. The army denies a coup is under way but since soldiers have killed the country's president and the borders are closed we'll let you draw your own conclusions. Guinea-Bissau is significant for being a massive conduit for South American nose-candy and drug money, but how that could make a small African country unstable is unclear and, frankly, baffling. (New York Times)

(Edited to repair poor spelling)