More News Room Shenanigans

I'm not saying this wouldn't happen at prairie dog. A few years ago when I used to do the film listings I ignited a storm of Keeley Hazell (pictured) Googling with one blurb I wrote. But we never had cameras rolling as this Aussie TV station did when a news staffer decided to check out steamy nude photos from Aussie supermodel Miranda Kerr's recent cover shoot for GQ magazine. Hilarious. (Break)

A Funny Joke For Your Cold Co-Workers

It's -33 degrees today. Bleah. Everone is cold and sad. But you can help. Here's how to make your frozen associates laugh and forget their shiveries in four easy steps:

1.) Identify a frosty co-worker, and run up to them as if to provide emergency assistance.

2.) Lean back, reach for your fly as if to unbutton/unzip it*, and bellow in a heroic voice: "DON'T WORRY, I'LL WARM YOU UP WITH A HOT STREAM OF URINE." Draw out the "I'll" a little when you say this (for comedic verbal effect).

3.) Wait for the laughter to EXPLODE. You're soooo funny!

4.) Repeat often, all day long.

*This joke probably works better for boys than it does for girls. Humour is well-known for its sexism.

Save Our Insurers

Protect Insurance Companies PSA from Will Ferrell

What's really funny is the article I found this in -- worth a read (Insurance News Net). Among other things, INN calls the video "witty but ineffective" and, without a trace of irony, object to the actors' lack of irony in presenting the skit, because they're all rich enough to afford healthcare.

Rich actors. That's a good one. Note the random university student sources too. That Will Ferrell's so darned mean.

Also thanks to The Current which broadcasted the audio this morning. God bless The Current.

Watchmen Scoop

Guess this comix/superhero movie gets its DVD and Blu-Ray release tomorrow. Here's one scene that didn't make it into the theatre version but will be featured in Zack Snyder's director's cut. (College Humor)

Ice Baby, Ice

Further to Paul's Six in the Morning post on July 15 about a U.S. lobbyist touting the prospect of us being on the verge of another ice age. (College Humor)

Only Sixteen More Sleeps

I so cannot wait. (College Humor)

Surviving the Recession

Finally, an economic stimulus strategy that we can all get behind (or some of us, anyway). (The Onion)

These Are The People In Your Neighbourhood

The Stranger is an alternative weekly based in Seattle. It's owned by co-founders of The Onion, "Editorially Directed" by a pottymouthed sex advice columnist (who supported the Iraq war) and written by alcoholics, convicted shoplifters and some really talented people. In this week's Stranger there's an article by Lindy West that lists many of The Different Kinds Of People That There Are .

A sample:

People Who Don't Believe in Evolution but Love Antibiotics Seriously? Either you believe in science or you don't. If you want to say sentences to me like "God made the earth 29 years ago out of Billy Graham's stool" or "Every time you take the morning-after pill, Satan has two orgasms," then go ahead and stay away from Dr. Syringey O'Medicine, MD, from here on out. Because you know that pill that made your strep throat go away? Science invented that. For you. Hey, why don't you just pray for God to take care of that root canal? I'll tell you why: Because God didn't go to dental school, because dental schools don't admit people who DON'T EXIST.

It goes on, and on, and on. Full article here.

EDIT: I'm pretty sure The Stranger's staff aren't actually alcoholics.

City Hall Update

I know this is usually Paul Dechene's beat, but he was out of town last week on personal business and missed this rivetting exchange (Break) between the mayor and an unidentified city councillor during debate at a planning commission meeting on the topic of architectural day lighting. And who says municipal politics is boring?

March Madness

For all you NCAA college hoops fans out there, this probably sounds like a dream come true (the Onion).

Any Leaf Fans Out There?

Pretty funny article in The Toronto Star on the sorry state of the Toronto Maple Leafs--and, less directly, on head coach Ron Wilson's big mouth and propensity for insulting his players. Wilson apparently told reporters the team was "a garden full of weeds" after losing badly to Minnesota. The Star goes into more detail about these weeds. A sample:

"MILKWEED (Nikolaiva Antropovora): Not an invasive species and does not pose threat to its environment. Physically tepid despite long frame, may finally be yanked from first and only NHL team for frustrating inability to dominate."

Good for a chuckle. Full thingy here.

The Pit Of Despair

I just got an e-mail from one coalition supporter who's bummed out by the news . For her, and for any other coalition supporters trying to get through the day in Tory Blue Saskatchewan, I offer this pleasing distraction.