Six (More) In The Morning

Because Rosie didn't tell me he was doing one...sigh. Funny how our lists are completely different though. I like his better. Anywayyyyyyyy:

1 A VERY, VERY LONG WEEKEND WITH BERNIE The crook who defrauded investors of a Carl Saganian billyons and billyons of dollars is sentenced to 150 years in jail. Bernie Madoff is expected to instruct his lawyers to be total dicks about this, though, launching appeals and filings and all manner of legal horseshit to minimize his time and prison. Who's paying for these lawyers, again? (L.A. Times)

2 HONDURAS PRESIDENT OUSTED What does Honduras need an army for, anyway? Oh right, military coups. Well done. As you were. (New York Times)

3 IRAN INVESTIGATES DEATH The Iranian government is looking into the murder of 26-year-old Neda Agha Soltan, who was shot during riots after the country's recent election which is widely regarded as as phonier than meatless baloney. Neda's awful, awful death was filmed and broadcast around the world, painting the Iranian regime in a somewhat unflattering light. (Although in the story I linked to, Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad says the media is using the death "to distort the pure and clean image of the Islamic Republic in the world". Uh huh.) Anyway, the quite possibly bogus, election-stealing Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad called the death "suspicious". (Guardian)

4 SASK. WOMAN WITH SWINE FLU DIES Story here. Our sympathies to her family. (Leader-Post)

5 ONTARIO SUSPENDS NUCLEAR REACTOR PLANS The province's Liberal government is worried about cost overruns, especially since the Conservative federal government's spring announcement that Atomic Energy Of Canada Ltd. will be privatized. (Globe And Mail)

6 CANADIAN MIGHT NOT BE BEHEADED AFTER ALL Care to take a guess which oil-rich, medieval backwater this story is happening in? If you said Saudia Arabia, you are correct. Ding!(StarPhoenix)